The Wrong Jerry Lewis

Somehow - don't ask me how - I didn't notice that one of the two guys working as henchmen to kill PBS is named Jerry Lewis.

Yes, Jerry Lewis (R-CA) wants to kill Big Bird - along with Bill Moyer, Charlie Rose, all those British comedies, American Experience and countless other high quality shows - in order to end PBS's accurate news reporting and programs on government malfeasance.

He's from California - can you believe it? - and he's the Chairperson (ooh I bet he hates being called that) of The House Appropriations Subcommittee on Labor, Health and Human Services and Education. He's the leading cookie in the cutter committee created to wipe out all funds for NPR and PBS.

But he's the wrong Jerry Lewis, because obviously he has no sense of humor.

Or else he's been so busy helping to plan the takeover by the Evil Empire that he never had a chance to watch Big Bird, Oscar the Grouch or Kermie. Let see, how long have they been planning this coup anyway? Forty years as I recall which is just about when the Muppetts went on air.

So you think this is, like, a personal grudge against Kermit?

Because I love Kermie.

In fact, is there a man out there who looks like Kermie? I'd just love to plant a big kiss on your slimy froggy lips.

Oops I shouldn't say that. The Far Wrong might start up again on how granting gay rights will lead to interspecies marriages.

It was just a kiss I wanted from Kermie, nothing more.

Oh, for heaven's sake.

It probably has more to do with his green color, anyway - you know, it appeals to my Irish heritage.

What do you mean I can't be involved with someone green?

But seriously -

tA dUM

You want to create a little heat for a couple of people who have no sense of humor and could not care less about anyone who makes less than 200 grand a year?

Give these boys a call tomorrow:

Chairman Jerry Lewis (R-CA) (202) 225-5861
Vice (with an emphasis) - Chairman Ralph Regula (R-OH) (202) 225-3876

Tell them hands off PBS or if we have to move to California or Ohio or both to vote against them, we will.

(They don't have to know we're moving to Great Britain so we can watch the BBC and finally find out what's really going on in this country.)